


Okay.

by MeredithBrody



Series: Pretty Little Distance [10]
Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-04 06:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14586657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: After Emily's drastic actions at the end of "Curtains Close" who survives... and is life ever the same for anyone again.(Part of the Pretty Little Distance series. Reading at least "Curtains Close" is advised, the series is available in order here)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to post until Friday and then I decided that I needed to be yelled at more so here I am, posting it early. This starts immediately after the events in chapter 16 of "Curtains Close". I have no idea how long this will be. Probably until I get bored of it tbh. 
> 
> Unlike my other fics, this will have less structure. Each chapter will be written to the POV of who I think will tell the story of that chapter best, and that includes a few chapters from the point of view of my original characters (Judith Daynes and Bethan Callahan)

The wait was beginning to become unbearable. They’d already had to leave the ward, let the staff clean it up for the next poor soul who was going to be using that room, but they couldn’t leave until Kendra arrived. He was about to call her when there was an insistent buzzing from his pocket. He expected for it to be from Kendra, but it wasn’t. He looked at Lyor before he answered, and Lyor had the same quizzical look on his face. “Judy, what’s up?” He said loudly, enough that Lyor would be able to hear him.

“Where are you?” That was not the question that he’d been expecting. He’d thought that maybe she was calling to ask about Lyor or to remind them about dinner later on but her voice sounded panicked. Seth couldn’t actually remember ever hearing Judith Daynes sounding anything but quietly put together.

“George Washington, waiting on Kendra.” He wondered if maybe that’s why Judith was calling. He hadn’t been able to get through to Kendra for the last little while. Maybe she’d left her phone at work, it wouldn’t be the first time one of them had done that. “She was supposed to be here by now I’m sure she’ll be along-”

“No, Seth. Get to the ER.” Judith snapped cutting him off. Now he knew that something major had happened. Even when he was being his most stupid he’d never been snapped at like that by either one of the Daynes’. Immediately his heart dropped like a stone into the bottom of his stomach. Kendra wasn’t here and Judith was telling him to go to the ER. This wasn’t good. “Kennie and Emily were in some sort of accident. I’m not able to get there yet but… I told them that you were in the building and would be there first. They don’t have you on her form.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.” Seth knew that the Secret Service would be bringing her along. Her relationship with the President making her a target almost as much as if she were president. They had all gotten used to that, but it did make emergencies more difficult to deal with. He hung up and motioned Lyor over to the side. “Lyor come on.”

“Where we going?” They weren’t really going anywhere other than somewhere to wait. Seth lead them through to a small seating area, somewhere that would be good for Anila to toddle about in and for Lyor to wait. Seth had to think this bit through because he didn’t want for Lyor to be alone for long but he also didn’t want to leave Kendra alone in the hospital.

“Something happened to Kendra. I’m going to call Tricia to take you and Anila home.” Tricia was friends with them all. Had visited Lyor on and off through all of this and was absolutely adored by Anila. She was the best choice for this. The rest of the senior staff were going to be far too busy for any of them to be spared.

“Alright. Is Kendra okay?” Lyor seemed to realise how stupid that question was the moment that it left his lips but Seth knew what he was trying to ask. Were they going to have to face doing this alone, and losing two members of their little family at once. Kendra and the baby were too important to him to face losing them, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

“I really don’t know.” He wished that he did. Anila was already well on her way to exploring every nook and cranny of this new seating area. Even though he didn’t really need to ask he couldn’t help but start worrying. He felt like he was already spread too thin. “You’ll be okay, right?”

“I’m medicated, Seth. I’m me.” Seth picked up his daughter and held her for a moment before looking back to Lyor. “Worry about Kendra. I’ll be okay with Tricia.” Lyor took Anila and tried to smile, though it came out more as a grimace. Tricia said she’d be there as soon as possible and Seth made the calculated judgement that getting to the ER was more important than hovering over Lyor and Anila. He made sure Lyor knew to get the car seat out of their car and then ran through the hospital.

He couldn’t slow down until he slid to a stop in the ER, he walked up to the front desk, trying to look calmer than he felt but he was fairly sure that it wasn’t going to work. He slapped his driving licence and his White House ID on the table then spoke clearly. “I got a call my partner, Kendra Daynes, is here.”

“Mr Wright, yes?” So they had listened to Judith when she said he’d be here. The receptionist stood up before he could even reply and went back into a room, she was followed back out a few minutes later with a doctor, and Seth realised his breathing still hadn’t evened out. He needed to get in shape.

“Yes, is Kendra okay?” Seth managed to ask after a few general comments were given to him about the accident. He knew that they were trying to toe the line since they were still in the waiting area but Seth needed to know that she was alive, he needed to know that the baby was alive too. They wanted this so much.

“We can only really speak to her next of kin.” He suddenly remembered that despite recently doing the paperwork neither he nor Kendra had actually updated their records to show that they had given each other power of attorney. It was the closest they could get to marriage without entirely leaving Lyor out.

“I have her power of attorney, does that count? I can have her mother bring the paperwork.” He didn’t have it with him, but he knew that Judith had copies of all their paperwork. It hadn’t been needed for Lyor since he’d actually made the change in his records to Kendra being his next of kin. For responsible adults with a young child together he and Kendra had been negligent not to follow suit.

The doctor appeared to consider this news for a few moments then nodded softly and waved him through to the doors. That was a good sign. “Yes, follow me.” He then opened the door and lead him down a corridor, stopping outside of a single room that looked like it was for the sickest of patients. Seth didn’t see Emily around anywhere though.

“Is that Kendra?” He had to ask because right now it didn’t look like her. She was on a breathing machine and what he could see of her face was black and blue. There were bandages around her head and with her much shorter hair it was hard to see any of it. Seth took a deep breath.

“It is. She’s been banged up, there are a lot of injuries, but right now we don’t think she’ll need plates.” That was good news, he thought. It didn’t sound too serious. Why was she on the breathing machine though, and why did his eyes sting so much as he watched her. Kendra had never let people know when she was sick, she’d hate this.

“How is the baby?” That was his next worry and he was certain that they would have checked the baby over by now. Seth wanted them both to be okay. They were supposed to be on their way home to celebrate Lyor making it through his hold, they weren’t supposed to be back here, facing almost losing one of them. Seth had thought that it had been hard with Lyor but seeing Kendra laid like this was worse.

“Strong heartbeat and moving around on ultrasound. We’ll be checking regularly to make sure that he or she stays okay.” Seth just nodded, glad to hear that the baby was alright so far. “Right now it looks a lot worse than it is, but we’re still going to be keeping a very close eye on her. She has a head injury that we need to monitor and she lost a lot of blood.”

“Is she going to survive?” Those words broke his heart and he needed the answer to be yes. He needed to know that she was going to wake up and be able to go back to work and back to being his partner and a mother when this was all over. Seth would take anything he could but she was needed and he didn’t tell her that often enough.

“I’ll tell you when we know anything.” The doctor dodged his question expertly and Seth realised that there wasn’t actually an answer in that. Maybe that told him everything that he needed to know. Kendra was badly hurt, that was obvious, but he had hoped that it wasn’t really that serious.

“That’s not an answer.” He commented as he just watched Kendra. He wished that he could hold her hand or ask her what happened. Maybe he could go and ask Emily if she was in a better shape than Kendra was. He hoped that she was because this was going to be even harder to get through if there were no answers. “Is Emily here too? She was driving Kendra here. She’s the White House Chief of Staff.”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.” The doctor shook his head and then went to step away, walking to the door through to Kendra but clearly not planning on inviting Seth in with him. “I’ll speak to you again when we know anything about Ms Daynes.” Seth stepped forward planning to follow him through until a hand came up to stop him. “You can see her soon.” It was a simple dismissal, but it made Seth want to fall to his knees.

He turned in the corridor and walked to where he could see some benches. His hands and legs were shaking and he couldn’t stop the tears as they started. He’d spent three months on a knife edge over Lyor, but he’d had Kendra to depend on through all of that. How could he lean on Lyor when there were so many problems he had to face. Seth felt more alone right now than he had done in a long time. He was trying to pull himself together when he saw someone he recognised. Emily’s mother. He’d only seen her in photographs but he couldn’t mistake her. “Mrs Stevens.”

“Seth, right? You work with Emily? Worked…” There was something about that that almost made Seth pause in his thoughts. All he could think was that Laura Stevens didn’t look well right now, but if Emily was anywhere near the state that Kendra was in then maybe it wasn’t all that surprising that she was struggling too.

“I do.” He confirmed, glad to know that Emily clearly spoke about them. “She was travelling with my wife.” Alright, not legally correct but it was how he thought of Kendra most of the time. They jokingly called each other that more often than they didn’t, and for the first time he wished that that was true. He was going to have to talk to Lyor about that.

“I hope your wife pulls through.” It was said flatly and Seth could understand that. His thoughts probably sounded similar. Accidents like this would just break everyone and he didn’t want to think how much harder it would have been if Anila had been with Kendra today rather than with him and Lyor.

“How is Emily?” Laura just shook her head softly and Seth understood immediately. It was like a knife to the gut, he was here worrying about Kendra and the baby and he hadn’t actually given two thoughts to Emily past wondering if she was here. Now that he was a father, Seth could imagine some of the pain that Laura was feeling. “I’m so sorry.” It sounded hollow, but there wasn’t anything else that could be said.

“I’m going to go home now and start making some preparations.” Laura then reached out and patted his hand gently. “I’ll keep good thoughts for your wife.” He hadn’t expected for that level of thoughtfulness, so he just nodded and mumbled something else about her loss before she walked away and he slid back onto the chair. All of a sudden all of his fears about Kendra seemed a lot more realistic. Emily had died, what if Kendra did too. What if there was never an answer to this.

He was still just sat there staring at his hands until people started trying to drag him out of his thoughts. Nothing was successful until his name was actually called almost directly into his ear and he looked up to see Aaron lowering onto the bench next to him. “Seth!” He said again and Seth finally looked up and frowned. “What’s wrong, is Kendra okay?”

“They don’t know…” He still didn’t know anything about Kendra’s condition, though they’d gotten his permission for every test they’d run. Judith had arrived and gone to find something to eat, accompanied by Leo who was fond of Kendra. Now that it was a friend here he could say the thing that he had been dreading having to tell people. “Emily died.”

“What. How do you know?” Aaron’s shoulders sagged with that news too. Seth suddenly remembered how close they’d been that first year after the bombing. The three of them trying to keep a struggling administration afloat. Long before any of this had become a problem. Before Emily’s misdeeds, before Seth’s family. Before Aaron was NSA. It seemed so long ago but it made it all hurt even more. They weren’t that close anymore.

“I just saw her mother. Well, before. I don’t know how long it’s been.” He couldn’t even start to guess either but now that there were other people here he needed to focus on what else he should be doing. All the things that he should be putting in motion as press secretary. “I should call the President… We need to start working on a statement now.”

“Seth I’ll call him. Kevin and Nathan can work on a statement.” Aaron put his hand gently on Seth’s shoulder and started to calm him down. That was exactly what he needed. Seth needed to focus on Kendra right now, on what was happening in his family rather than what the world needed to know. This was personal for him. “How is Lyor?”

“I got Tricia to take him home. He’s just worried about Ken.” Seth took another breath, Aaron knowing exactly how to distract him from the panic that had been building up. “They say it looks worse than it is, and they don’t think they’ll need to put in plates.” He waved in the direction of the room he knew that they’d be clearing soon, he hadn’t asked where Kendra would be taken next, he assumed someone would come and get him. “They took her for an MRI and a CT before surgery.”

“The baby?” Aaron had been the first person Kendra told about Anila, and he’d been one of the first to know about the second baby yet Seth was still touched that he thought to ask too. Or maybe it was just politeness. His mind wasn’t really thinking straight right now. It was just wondering what the next steps were going to be.

At least he knew that his son or daughter was fine. “Healthy, they have a protocol for protecting babies during these scans now. Probably lead.” He scoffed a little, but he just realised how many things could still go wrong and rob him of one or both of them. “I’ve never been this scared, Aaron.”

“She’ll be fine. Kendra’s a kickass woman, she’ll show them all.” That made Seth laugh, but at the same time, he felt the tears starting to fall again and was grateful that Aaron just pulled him against his shoulder and held him until they faded off again. He hated being this broken, but what else could he do?

“I hope you’re right,” Seth muttered eventually, not thinking about how much he needed to believe Aaron. How he needed Aaron to be right. “I just had to face doing this without Lyor… not sure I can face doing this without Ken.” He rubbed his face again wondering if the emergencies would ever end. He needed to be able to sleep.

They were about to carry on speaking when a doctor came over and looked between the two of them clearly trying to decide who he should address himself too. After a second he seemed to settle on the wall just above their heads. “Mr Wright?”

“I’ll go call the President,” Aaron said and squeezed Seth’s shoulder as he stood up. That was one thing that Seth didn’t have to worry about anymore. He didn’t like having to think about all of this and he wanted to turn off the part of his brain that was the Press Secretary but he was also clinging on to his professional persona so he didn’t entirely break down.

“Aaron, can you find out where Ken’s mom is too, the President will have her number and she’s with Leo.” Seth didn’t want to assume that Aaron would have either one of them, but Seth didn’t want anything to happen to Kendra and Judith not be here. That was part of why he had been glad that she’d still come too.

Once Aaron had stepped away the young doctor sat down beside Seth and started to explain what was going on. “The CT showed some general brain swelling, so after surgery we’re going to keep her in an induced coma until the swelling has gone down.” Seth’s terror at that clearly showed on his face as the doctor gave him a small reassuring smile. “It’s nothing to worry about, we see it often in car crashes. There could be no long-term damage at all.”

“That’s good, how long will you keep her under?” Hours, days, weeks, months? It all seemed so vague and confusing. Seth didn’t want to be stuck here open-ended and he was sure that Kendra wouldn’t either. They were having a baby in 4 and a half months, would she even be awake for that. He had so many questions and somehow he doubted they’d be able to give him any.

“That will be down to the neurologists. There were other indications on the scans that suggest she needs to be under the neurologists, but they’ll be able to give you full information.” What was it Kendra always said about her mother’s neurologists? That they were all talk. He didn’t remember exactly but she was often critical of them. “She’s stable, you can go in and see her now before they take her up to surgery.”

“She hasn’t been yet?” Seth had thought that she’d gone an hour or more ago, but he also hadn’t really been paying attention. He’d had a lot more on his mind. Mostly he was thinking about the fact that Emily was dead and Kendra was just hanging on. This accident must have been more major than he’d been thinking at first.

“The wait for the CT was longer than we expected. She’ll be going up in the next couple of hours to fix it.” They were doing something called an _external fixation_. He’d picked up that much from the earlier discussions. It was going to complicate travel even after it healed but that was nothing compared to knowing that she was alright and that her leg would heal.

He then just let the doctor lead him through the hospital to the surgical suite. Kendra still didn’t look like herself, but at least he knew now that it was on purpose. “Hey, Kennie.” He whispered, kissing her forehead and sitting down in the chair next to her bed. “I love you so much, I hope you know that.” He could feel the tears building up behind his eyes again and managed to stop himself from crying only by taking deep breaths and focusing on something else. Anything else. “Lyor is great, I hope he still will be when I get home later and tell him all about this.”  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. The cancellation took all the wind out of my sails and I just... didn't want to do anything over the weekend (plus there was Eurovision) and now... Well... We may get a third season after all. Don't fuck this up for us, Netflix.
> 
> Please come and join us [@savedesignated on twitter](https://twitter.com/savedesignated) and [@savedesignated on instagram](https://instagram.com/savedesignated) to keep pushing for the third season!

Judith had never really liked hospitals, she didn’t like them when her parents had spent time in them, she didn’t like them when she was in them but she had decided over the last few days that she hated them most when Kendra was in them. She had always been a healthy child, she’d never needed more than the occasional check-up and she’d been a careful adult. The longest she’d ever spent in hospital was two nights after having Anila. She allowed her secret service agent to wheel her through to Kendra’s room and frowned a little, she hated seeing her like this. She shouldn’t be here, they should be getting ready for the baby to come along. “Hey, how’s my good big girl?” She asked quietly as she rolled up beside her, not even noticing the nurse in a corner of the room.

“The same. You’re her mother, right?” The question didn’t seem like it actually needed to be answered and yet Judith still felt like she had to. She knew that Kendra was an adult now, and it was right that Seth and Lyor be the ones here most, but giving that up when there was so much that could go wrong was so difficult. Judith had to accept it all though, and she knew that there wasn’t going to be very much that she could do.

“Yeah. Her boyfriend went to the funeral of the friend she was with for this accident so… I came here.” Judith had had no love for Emily. It was a tragedy that she was gone so young but at the same time, she had caused so many problems that Judith didn’t feel the need to go to the funeral. She wanted to be with Kendra. After a minute the nurse left and Judith leant forward to speak to her daughter. “We just need for you to wake up now, Kennie. It’s not time for you to go join your father yet. I was supposed to go before you both, I don’t want to be here alone.” She stroked Kendra’s hair and just fell into silence.

No matter how many times she’d visited, some other moment from Kendra’s life had occurred to Judith and she couldn’t help but talk about them when they came up. “Do you remember that time we drove down to the beach with nanny and gramps. You were so little and you were determined that you were going to go in the water. ‘I can do it, momma, I can do it’.” Judith chuckled, remembering how determined Kendra had been then. She had decided that she needed to swim. “I remember all of us trying to stop you but you had your mind on something and you were going to do it. You dodged around everyone and you just ran straight for the water and jumped in.”

“You didn’t care that the water was cold, or that none of the other kids were leaving their caretakers you were just happy to splash about and make as much noise as you could. I can still hear you shouting. ‘Daddy come play it’s nice’.” Judith laughed again, thinking about how it had panicked Keith. He had so wanted for Kendra to be an easy child and she was not. “You could have only been three or four…” It seemed such a long time ago. Thirty-three years, maybe more.

“You’re the momma now Kendra,” Judith said quietly, reaching to put her hand on the bump and being reassured by the subtle movements that she felt beneath her hand. Her grandson or granddaughter was alive and squirming around. “You’re the one who is supposed to be looking out for these kids so I’m gonna need you to start using some of that stubbornness now and get better. Anila misses her momma, she wants you to come home.”

“Seth’s at breaking point. I’m trying to fill in some of the gaps between being here with you and being there with Lyor and Anila while he works and visits. I don’t know if he can do this long term.” Judith so hoped that telling Kendra about the plight of her family would bring her around faster. Would help her come back from wherever it was that she was now. “You’d be so proud of him Ken. Lyor too, he’s held up so much better than any of us could have hoped.” Judith was proud of Lyor, after all he’d been through he deserved more than this.

She just trailed off and tried to think of other things to talk about, other memories to share as she sat holding Kendra’s hand. There was nothing else that she could do. Just keep talking, let the doctors and nurses do what they needed to do and keep faith. She knew that most of the others didn’t understand how faith kept the two of them going. They were both practising Catholics, and Judith had faith. She got to watch an ultrasound on the baby and know that Kendra was responding well to the enforced rest. Judith was ready to sleep when she heard another voice. “How is she?”

“Leo, you’re not supposed to be here.” Judith jumped and span herself around a little, seeing Penny and Anila too. Penny carrying the baby who was already straining to get to Kendra. Judith hadn’t wanted to bring the baby to see this but here she was and Judith didn’t want to pull her away, even if it wasn’t the best situation for her. Kendra would probably have wanted Anila to see her anyway.

“Nil wouldn’t settle… and Penny and I wanted to come.” Leo explained as they came over, Penny going to the other side of the bed and sitting down, keeping Anila on her lap and out of the way of reaching Kendra, though Judith could see that that wasn’t going to last all that much longer. Anila was not happy at not being allowed to touch her mother.

“Mama.” She mumbled as she tried to reach out and grab at Kendra again and Penny just gave up, standing up and sitting Anila on the edge of the bed. Judith had no idea, now, how to explain this to her granddaughter. She was still a baby, she had no idea what was going on and how things were happening, all she knew was that her momma wasn’t awake.

“She’s too young for this, Leo,” Judith said, her eyes never leaving Anila who was just patting Kendra’s stomach. Judith could hardly imagine what it would be like to have had Kendra visiting her in the hospital at that age. When she was first diagnosed and was in and out of hospital she never let Keith bring Kendra. It seemed like something a toddler shouldn’t have to see, but now that Anila was here Judith wasn’t so sure.

“If we’d got the chance to come and see mom after her accident we would have come, but we didn’t.” Alright, Kendra had to accept that Penny and Leo had far more experience of the other side of this. Her misgivings maybe were something that she should set aside. “Let her stay Judy, you never know when it might be the last time.” Judith sighed and turned her chair around moving toward the door.

“Penny can you keep an eye on them.” She meant both Anila and Kendra, not that there was anything actually going to change with Kendra, and she motioned Leo out into the hall. There was no need for Penny or Anila to hear the rest of this discussion. “Leo I know this is a sore topic for you but Anila is 14 months old, you and Penny were both much older.”

Leo’s face fell a little and he nodded gently, but Judith knew that he was going to have more to say. She had never met Alex, but by all accounts, she could guess that Leo had his mother’s personality, and when he had a point to make, he made it. “I know, but isn’t it best Anila gets all the time she can with her? Maybe somewhere, somehow, it helps Ken realise she has a family she needs to come back to.”

“Alright…” She gave in and sighed because she knew that Leo was right. As Judith watched him she frowned softly. She knew that Kendra had become someone that Leo depended on, and she couldn’t imagine that this situation “You doing okay? I know Kennie’s become a mentor to you.”

“I don’t… wanna lose her too.” Leo said quietly, and Judith reached up to push him onto the chair she was parked beside, it was a lot easier to comfort someone when they were on a similar height to you. “When mom died… Kendra was the one who’d check up on me, you know other than dad and uncle Trey… and I wasn’t the nicest to her and yet she still kept coming.” Judith had known that, but it was quite nice to hear Leo say that it was appreciated. Especially since she knew how much Kendra cared for Leo too. “She didn’t let me think that I was gonna have to face it all alone, and she’s the main reason I’m doing so well, I think.”

“She loves you like a brother, Leo. She’ll want to try and make things easier on you any way she can when she wakes up.” Kendra would want to make things easier on Leo, and on everyone else. That was going to be something Judith reminded her not to do. It wouldn’t be good for her to burn herself out trying to protect everyone else, and that would be exactly what Kendra would want to do. “Come on, we should get back in there before Penny lets Anila anywhere near the cage.”

Judith would admit, it was nice having a more family feel to the room that came with the kids being there. They brought a lightness that Judith couldn’t have managed on her own, and it was nice to see how happy Seth and Lyor were when they arrived back after the funeral to see their daughter there too. That was when she decided to bow out, and as usual, took Anila home with her. It was much easier on Seth and Lyor that she and Tom take over some of the childcare. When Anila was finally asleep and they got a little time alone Judith found her crutches and managed to pull herself out of the chair and over to the sofa before collapsing down beside Tom. “How did it go?” She asked quietly, sliding her hand into his.

“It was… sad. And hard. And so many other things I can’t even begin to process.” He muttered, dropping his forehead to her shoulder as she spoke. Judith just smiled softly and ran her thumb across the back of his hand. “Thirty-three. It’s no age. How was Kendra?” Judith both loved and hated that question. It reminded her Kendra was alive, but also that nothing had changed yet.

“The same, thought her scans are showing there is no permanent damage. They even did an ultrasound on the baby while I was there, he was having a good dance around.” The brain scans all seemed to be promising, at least, that’s what she was told. She knew there was something that nobody was saying, but she didn’t know what it was. The baby though, he seemed to be perfect.

“Everyone’s decided this one is a boy, huh?” Tom asked with a chuckle and Judith just narrowed her eyes a little. She didn’t really know what he meant by that, and it made her slightly suspicious of what Tom might know. “Seth always refers to him as a boy too. And now so am I.”

“I think we’re all just hoping they have one of each.” That was Judith’s hope, anyway. She’d always wanted another, a boy, but Keith hadn’t wanted to risk it when she got sick. He didn’t care if he had biological children, as far as he was concerned Kendra was his daughter and that was all that mattered. “Leo and Penny decided to come while I was there too. It gave Anila some time with her momma too.” Judith wasn’t sure how Tom would feel about that, so she just kept talking. “She didn’t understand why she couldn’t wake Ken up though.”

“She’s young, she’ll be fine.” Tom smiled then moved a little so that he could wrap his arms around her. Judith always knew when he’d had a rough day, as he would always be just a little extra cuddly, and he would want to hold her a little closer. She didn’t mind at all, but it did give her an insight into his mood. “One day this will all be a bad memory for her.”

“Anila or Ken?” She asked, settling herself against his chest and thinking about everything that they were going to have to change when Kendra came around. She knew it was going to happen, she just didn’t know when that would be and the uncertainty was driving her crazy.

“Both of them, I guess.” He said quietly, still resting his head against hers and they both just fell silent for a few moments before he continued with whatever it was on his mind. “You know not a day goes by when I don’t think about Alex, but imagining it being Penny. Either where Alex was or where Ken is… I get so afraid that one day something could happen to her.”

“It’s a risk we run as parents, isn’t it?” She asked quietly. This had always been her nightmare too. That she’d somehow outlive both Keith and Kendra and she’d be left alone. “That one day we will have to say goodbye… If she goes that’s it… I have nobody left.” She and Tom were happy together, she knew that, but there was still a part of her that kept remembering they weren’t actually a family. “Tom, I love you and I love the kids, but they aren’t… we aren’t actually family.” She couldn’t help but think about that sometimes. Anila was the only blood relation she had other than Kendra, and that little girl was her whole life. There had been times where she’d just never expected to have grandchildren, or to live to see them, so it was a privilege she wasn’t going to waste.

“Maybe we should be,” Tom said instantly, with no hesitation. “You’re as good as family, Judy. You live here with us, we’ve been together over a year and after Alex died you were the only person I felt like I could connect with. You’re the only reason I survived.” He kissed her cheek softly then just took a deep breath, and she knew that he was thinking. “So… maybe we should be family.”

“Wait… What?” There was an implication there. Something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Normally she always had an idea of what Tom was thinking, he wasn’t exactly the most complicated of creatures once you got to know him, but for the first time in years, she was utterly at a loss.

“Marry me, Judith.” He smiled and she just sat staring at him. Did he really just propose to her? It seemed such a bizarre moment and yet in some strange way, given how bizarre their lives were it was entirely fitting for them. She clearly paused too long as he started to babble. “You don’t have to say yes right away or at all but you made me think that maybe there was a reason I’ve been thinking about this.”

She put her finger to his lips and smiled softly. She already knew the answer, though maybe it wasn’t one she would have given previously. Things changed when there were situations like this and Judith knew that, after two years of friendship and almost 18 months of having this undefined relationships that this was the next step. “Yes.” She stopped and smiled before continuing. “We have to get the okay from the kids. _All_ the kids… But if they’re all okay with it then I’ll marry you.” She wanted to know that Leo, Penny and Kendra were okay with it. Judith didn’t want to replace Alex, and she knew Tom didn’t want to replace Keith. That was when she remembered that her MS would mean she probably wouldn’t live as long as he did. “You realise… you’ll be losing another wife probably long before you’re ready to go.”

“Your MS hasn’t been a barrier to anything else, it wouldn’t be to this.” Tom really didn’t care, and that made her feel so much happier about everything. “We could keep each other going. That’s what we do.” It really was, and if he had no problems then maybe she should let go of these concerns too. “Come on, I’ll take you through to bed.”

“Maybe if we decide to do this I should see if I can get strong enough to walk to you with some help.” It would require some serious physical therapy, but given Kendra was going to need to learn to do it all again maybe they could do it together. Some real bonding. It would be great for them both. The crutches only got her so far,

“I love that idea,” Tom confirmed as he kissed her softly. “Come on, bed.” He clapped his hands and stood up, picking up her crutches to help her through. This was going to be an interesting situation, and Judith actually couldn’t wait to tell Kendra about it. Now she really needed for her daughter to wake up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

This was not a day he had ever expected to happen, but as he tied his tie and listened to Aaron running through the order of service he was having to actually face reality. It wasn’t anywhere near as simple as he’d like for this to be. Older people went first, young people got to live long, full lives. But no, they were going to the funeral of a thirty-three year old, while his thirty-seven year old lawyer continued fighting for her life. How was any of this fair. He wasn’t even really listening to Aaron and Hannah until the tone of their voices changed and Tom realised someone else had joined them. “Has there been any change?”

“Not so far.” Seth shook his head and Tom knew that that was both good and bad news. The induced coma was to give Kendra’s brain time to heal but he was sure that they had all wanted more information after five days. Tom sort of wanted her to be awake by now, really.  “Thank you all for covering for me.”

“Seth your partner is in a coma, you have a baby at home and today is the funeral of one of your best friends,” Tom said simply. Seth had always had a habit of thanking people for doing what anyone decent would do, but this was something that tom didn’t want him to feel like he had to thank them. Kendra, Lyor and Anila needed to come first for him. Work could wait. “We’re all happy to cover for you.”

“I still can’t believe that today’s happening,” Seth muttered quietly and Tom could understand that. The four of them in this room had been through a lot together, and ever since the Capitol bombing it had been them and Emily. Knowing that she was gone, more permanently than if she’d had to leave the White House staff, was something that Tom wasn’t sure he could reconcile. 

“Me either. Is Lyor coming?” Aaron asked, and it gave Tom the opportunity to turn and focus on his tie again. He should have gotten Judith to do this before she left for the hospital. He had asked her to join him at the funeral, but she was bitter toward Emily for being the one driving and had decided that in the end it would be better for her if she went to sit with Kendra while Seth and Lyor were at the funeral. 

“He’s meeting us there with Tricia. Leo is babysitting Anila.” Seth’s response didn’t surprise Tom either, he’d been there the night before when Seth had asked Leo if he minded babysitting. Clearly, Aaron and Hannah hadn’t known that. Hannah and Emily had had their troubles in the past, but Tom was glad that she was there. “No children at the service.”

“We still don’t know what happened, Hannah?” He interrupted the thoughts, his mind suddenly being brought back to the fact that Hannah was now his FBI director. She hadn’t been a popular choice at first, but nobody could deny her dedication to justice and the country. She’d lasted a year longer than anyone else in the job too. 

“No sir, best we can tell is some kind of issue with the car. We’re rebuilding it but it’s going to be slow.” Tom could see how apologetic she was for that, but it was really a top priority. There was something in Tom that just couldn’t believe that this was an accident. It didn’t seem like an accident given the injuries they’d received, and the fact two senior White House staffers were in the car.

“Thanks, Hannah.” He nodded, knowing that they should be finishing touches. There were things that they needed to be prepared for. Tom needed to mentally prepare to say goodbye to one of his oldest and most loyal friends. He wasn’t really ready for this, but there were some things that you could never be ready for. “Come on, we should get ready for Mike to tell us everything is ready.”

“You know Ken will be mad she missed this.” Seth chuckled and Tom didn’t need to turn to face him to know that this was his way of coping. Seth used humour, it was part of the way he processed everything, it was something that Tom had always appreciated when it came to having him around in a crisis. Not everyone appreciated it. 

“She’s in a coma.” He heard Hannah shoot back, somehow not realising that it was a joke and not a serious joke at that. Tom wanted to chime in but he was still focused on this damn tie. He just couldn’t quite get it to sit properly, and he didn’t know what he should do so that he stopped fiddling with it. 

“You think that will matter to her?” Seth chuckled again but Tom could feel the seriousness in the room. Nobody else seemed to be appreciating the fact that Seth probably needed to laugh to pretend that he wasn’t about to start crying. “Sorry I just… I have to make jokes or it’s suddenly more real, you know. I have to face everything that’s going on.”

“We get it.” It was reassuring and Tom glared once more at the tie. It still didn’t feel like it was right but it looked fine. Maybe he was just focusing on this so he didn’t have to focus on anything else. “You’re very quiet, sir?” Aaron was clearly realised that Seth needed the attention off him, and Tom knew that it often was going to fall to him to distract. 

“I’m just thinking.” He replied, trying to smile softly himself but feeling like it probably came out as more of a grimace. He then replayed the conversation and focused on the thing that he thought was the most important thing to address. “We’ll have a memorial once Kendra is back on her feet.”

“How was Judith this morning? I had already left the hospital before she arrived.” Seth asked, coming and standing closer to him so they could talk more quietly. Aaron and Hannah both took the hint and started talking about something likely work-related. The family connection that Tom and Seth had often lead to these conversations happening quietly.

“She’s still scared she’s going to lose her daughter, and I can understand why it’s been almost a week.” Tom could only think that he would be just as panicked if it was Penny or Leo, even if the doctors were telling him that everything was going to be perfectly alright. He knew that it was, but that wasn’t changing the thoughts that would run through his mind. They were bad enough with Kendra.

“The swelling is going down, it’s just slow. She’ll be fine.” Seth sounded confident and that was the good news that Tom had needed. He really didn’t want to think about having to replace her, or anything worse than that. Hiring Kendra Daynes had changed Tom’s life in ways he wouldn’t have been able to imagine three years ago. 

“We all just need to believe that.” Tom smiled, clapping Seth’s shoulder and turning him to re-join the others. They didn’t have the time to isolate themselves, not when they needed their friends more than ever.

“Pink ties?” Aaron looked rather unimpressed and there was a clear confusion as to what that had to do with Emily. She wasn’t that fond of pink, as far as Tom could remember. They hadn’t ever really spoken about something like that. Despite Emily being his friend they hadn’t had time to really be friends in a long time. 

“Family request.” Tom didn’t know why either, he hadn’t asked he’d just accepted when they’d said that pink ties and accompaniments. Hannah had a pink belt that he was fairly sure Penny had lent her. There were few things Tom couldn’t imagine, but Hannah owning anything pink was one of them. “You look very fetching in pink, Aaron.”

“Sir, permission to tell you to get fucked?” Aaron smiled as he asked that, and Tom had to admit that that made him feel a lot better about trying to return them all to the easy camaraderie that they had had a week earlier. They weren’t that serious with each other, and Tom needed that lightness when he was busy with this job. 

“Permission denied.” Tom smiled, looking up and seeing Mike’s nod at just the right time. There was no part of him that was ready for what he was about to have to do, and yet he was going to have to do it regardless. The funeral of one of his closest friends and then he’d have to come back to work. “The rest of the staff will be waiting.” He instead pointed, leading all of them out of his sitting room.

“This inner circle is getting smaller as time goes on, isn’t it?” The question was raised and Tom had to agree. His senior staff were all close, but his inner circle had been reduced by two in just a week. Potentially three depending on Kendra’s recovery. President’s didn’t make friends, but Tom couldn’t seem to keep hold of his old ones either.

“We all have our issues, I guess?” Seth replied as they filed out of the residence toward the West Wing. Tom had to put a game face on, as they were about to be the focus of the world’s media. There was nothing that could be done about that, but he couldn’t look like he was as upset as he actually was. This was a time where he had to play the ‘perception game’, as Lyor had called it once. He needed to make people believe that he was more in control of his emotions than he felt he was. Mostly though, he was wishing this weren’t necessary.

The funeral was beautiful and it truly felt like a celebration of a life rather than an acknowledgement of death. Tom knew that Emily would now be transferred back to her hometown and be followed up by a short service and burial there. He wasn’t going to think about that, because she was still here in his heart and he now had a job that he had to get on with. When they were back at the White House he knew that the first job was one that would hopefully change his recent staffing problems. Nathan Jacobs had been doing wonderfully as the deputy communications director in the two years since he’d been hired on, but Tom thought it was time he moved up. “Beautiful eulogy, sir.”

“Thanks, Nathan. Your comments on it were appreciated.” Tom smiled as they stepped into his office and the door was closed behind them. “I’ve spoken to Lyor, and he won’t be coming back to the administration. This isn’t the time to ask but, really, there is no better time, would you like to take the now-vacant Deputy Chief of Staff position?” Tom managed to get it all out in one.

“I would very much, sir. Thank you.” Nathan’s smile was the first genuine one that Tom had seen all day, and it gave him so much more joy than he ever would have expected. “Who will be the new Chief? Aaron?” That seemed to be everyone’s thoughts, but Tom was happy with Aaron where he was and given that Emily had been killed he didn’t want anyone currently in his administration to have to deal with those associations.

“No. I’m going to bring someone in. It’s too much to ask Aaron to take over from Emily. It needs to be someone from outside the administration. Someone new to the White House.” He hadn’t even asked her yet, but he was sure that she’d say yes. Her children were older now, they would be able to handle her hours easier. She was already working back in Congress.

“Do you have anyone in mind.” Nathan clearly realised that Tom knew who he was considering and it was a polite way to ask for the information without making it obvious that that’s what he was doing. Tom had debated finding someone else, but he didn’t think that he could. He didn’t know how anyone else would fit in.

“You know Bethan Callahan?” He asked instead. If Nathan knew her or knew of her, it would save a lot of explanation. She had been working in DC for some time by now, though Tom still remembered her urgent return to New York six years earlier. Her five-year-old in need of some intense surgery. That had been how Emily became his initial chief of staff, it was darkly ironic that her death would be what brought Beth back.

“Yes, sir. If you could bring her in she’d be a great addition.” Tom knew that Beth would be a very different chief than Emily had been though and it would be interesting seeing how she managed everything. Tom didn’t want to pretend that he knew how it would go, but he already had a good idea. “I’m not sure how the others would take to it.”

“They’d get used to it.” Tom knew that even if he also knew that Beth would ruffle a few feathers at first. She had such an interesting personal history that Tom knew that nobody would be able to complain about her credentials. Things were going to have to change here and maybe this would be for the best. 

“Yes, they would.” Nathan chuckled and then looked a little unsure for a moment. “Are you sure you want me, sir? What if Ms Callahan wants to bring her own staff in?” Those were reasonable worries but Tom was sure that Beth would leave his staff in place and would just bring them all into her order. It would be interesting to watch. 

“I’ve known Beth a long time, she’ll trust my choice.” He reassured. Nathan was a great young mind and was going to be a benefit to anyone who employed him. Right now Tom just wanted that to be him. He wasn’t sure that he could manage it if he had to bring in and get used to yet another new person. “I want you, Nathan.”

“Thank you again, sir.” He smiled, and Tom just told him to go. He didn’t want to think any more about work. He wanted to do what he absolutely had to do and then he wanted to go home, spend time with his children and his partner, assuming that she was back from the hospital. He thought that she probably would be by the time he got through all the urgent paperwork that he’d allowed to build up on his desk. 

Getting up to the residence was actually all that Tom could think about, which of course meant that there was an emergency break that he had to try and keep his eye on. It was late when he was finally able to head home, and he was sure that most of his family would already be asleep. When he got up he heard Judith dealing with their granddaughter so tom decided to go and check on Penny and Leo. He stopped at Penny’s door and smiled softly, watching her as she typed something on her computer. “Hey, daddy.” 

“Hey, not-so-little-Pea.” He joked, moving in and sitting on the edge of Penny’s bed a little away from where she was laid. It reminded him of what the Secret Service had told him, and he had to ask about it. “I heard you and Leo took Anila out today?” It wasn’t really a question, but he wanted to let her explain themselves.  

“We wanted to see Ken, and we though Anila should see her mom.” Alright, Tom could understand why they would think about that. “Leo and I talked about it and talked about how we wished that we could have seen mom one last time before she was gone.” That was a pain that tom understood all too well and he couldn’t imagine how hard it was for them to see another child potentially losing their mother.

“Kendra is going to be fine, Pen.” He tried to reassure, remembering how confident Seth had been this morning when they’d been together. Kendra was going to wake up in time and she would want to know that everyone was okay when she did, especially Penny and Leo. She was so protective of them both.

“Nobody can say that dad, she’s okay now but she might not wake up or something could happen.” For a thirteen-year-old that seemed very pessimistic but given she hadn’t had the easiest upbringing since they’d come to the White House he really shouldn’t be all that surprised. “We wanted to give Anila time and we wanted to see her too.”

“She’s really become part of the family, huh?” He asked, glad to know that his children cared about Kendra as much as he did. He didn’t really know what to expect in this situation, he’d never planned on being a single parent and having to navigate two families becoming one the way he was now, but the fact that Penny and Leo were accepting was important to him.

“Well her mom does live with us now.” Penny laughed and shook her head a little and Tom had to try and work out what that meant. Clearly, though, Penny realised he was worried about it. “Not that that’s a bad thing, we love Judy and me and Leo are just glad you’re happy.” There was something in the way Penny said that that made him suspicious.

“What’s wrong?” He prodded, not wanting Penny to think that she couldn’t talk about something that was bothering her. If she needed to talk about it he wanted her to know that she could talk to him.

“Leo… doesn’t wanna go back to school until he knows Ken is okay.” For some reason, this news didn’t shock Tom at all. It probably should have done, but given how he’d been when he’d been accepted to Stanford he should have known the first major problem here would have Leo wanting to come home. “He made me swear I wouldn’t tell you but Ken would be so mad if she thought that she made him fail out in his sophomore year.”

“Yes, she would. I’ll talk to him.” Tom couldn’t let Leo stay home, it was lucky that they’d agreed to let him come out after the accident to begin with. Tom was fairly sure that was only because Leo was the President’s son. “How are you doing, though. You move up to high school in August.”

“I’m excited but it’s really hard work already,” Penny grumbled and Tom had to chuckle. He had been the same in school, he’d never really liked the studying part of it. “Do you think mom would be proud of me?” that was always a hard question to answer, and Tom was never sure what to say. He knew Alex would be proud of both of them, but it hurt to think he was only guessing.

“She always was and always will be, just like I am.” Tom was extremely proud of them both, and he was glad that Trey and Judith were here to help them both too. “Things might be changing here but that doesn’t mean I love your mom any less now than I did when she died.” He felt like he needed to make that point. 

“I know. I still miss her.” Penny mumbled and Tom wouldn’t have imagined anything different. Nothing would change the fact that they all missed Alex and that was probably something they all needed to accept.

“I do too.” Tom was still surprised how much he missed Alex, and he knew that the kids would feel the same way a lot of the time. He gave Penny a hug then sighed softly, knowing that he needed to go and deal with Leo now. Something that would be less exciting. “I should go talk to your brother.” He was even less confident when his daughter wished him good luck.

Tom paused once he left Penny’s room and was unsurprised to hear Judith still trying to bargain with Anila for her to go to sleep. Tom was fairly sure the toddler’s broken sleep pattern was entirely to do with the fact she wasn’t with her parents, but he wasn’t going to get into that fight again when he needed to focus on Leo, so he left Judith to it and turned down the hall to his son’s bedroom. “Leo.” He knocked and then slowly opened the door, sure enough, his things were strewn all over the place “You haven’t packed.”

“No.” Leo shook his head and Tom had to refrain from saying something that he would probably end up regretting about the state of the room. Starting with something like that wasn't going to make Leo see Tom's side. “I was thinking… maybe I should stay here for a while until we know Ken is okay.” That was the exact opposite of what Kendra would want, Tom was sure of that.

“You can’t miss out on your schooling like that, Leo. It was fortunate that your professors let you have this week off. You need to go back tomorrow.” Tom sighed because he knew that Leo just wanted to be at home. He knew that things like this made him worry that he'd never see the people he cared about again, but Tom couldn't let him stay, and he couldn't stand by and let Leo throw away his future because he was scared. 

“I can’t just leave everyone. I told you this when I left for Stanford." Leo had tried to bargain then, just as he was trying to now. Tom hadn't bought it then either. It wasn't about the fact that they needed him, because they did, but that wasn't a reason that he should potentially throw away his future. They would all still be around when Leo came home and Tom was going to make sure that he was well aware of that. "I should be here with you and Penny.”

“You can’t put your life on hold, Leo. We’ll call you every morning and every evening until Kendra can reassure you herself that she’s fine.” Tom wanted to keep his son's spirits up, especially given that they both knew there was a lot that could still change. “You’re growing up, you’re an adult now and that normally comes with some very hard moves, hard decisions.” Tom had made enough of them for a lifetime now. He wanted Leo to focus on the other things, the good things. “I heard through the grapevine that you have a special friend at college.”

“Seth can’t keep a damn secret can he?” Leo laughed, and Tom was glad that Seth had let that slip a few days earlier. Learning that Leo had a girlfriend was something that Tom was actually absolutely thrilled by. “She’s called Miranda and she’s British, you’d like her, she’s doing architecture. She’ll be someone you can nerd about buildings with.” Tom grinned as Leo pulled his phone out and Tom was happy to see it was a picture. “Here, look.”

“She’s very pretty, Leo. Invite her to come visit with us in the summer unless she’s going home to the UK.” It would be nice to meet someone who was important to Leo, especially given all the problems of the last few years. They all needed some good news and this was just the ticket. 

“I’ll ask her when I get back.” He nodded, almost instantly looking a lot happier about going back. Clearly, Tom had reminded him that his life wasn't only here in DC but was also in California too. “You’re sure I can’t just… stay another week?” It was almost begging, though Tom wasn't going to fall for it. Leo would be better off if he went back to school, it was only three months until summer.

“No. If anything happens the Secret Service would have you on the first plane back but Kendra is going to be absolutely fine.” Tom was going to keep being positive about it. He knew that Seth and Judith wouldn't lie about Kendra's chances, and so he was sure that in time she'd be okay. “Now get packed, or I’ll send Judith in here.”

“Damn yeah, she’s worse than mom for ordering me about while packing.” Alex had always been fond of ordering them all about when it came to packing. This wasn't the first time that Tom had found Judith's bossiness about it just a little bit reassuring. “Thanks, dad.”

“Leo, you and Penny are the most important things in the world to me, don’t ever think you can’t come to me with a problem or a fear like this.” He knew that Penny was still able to do that, but he was terrified that maybe Leo thought that he was too old to come to his dad with problems, and that was the opposite of the relationship Tom wanted to have with his children. Maybe now, at least, he was going to be able to bridge the gap, even if he had to do it from two thousand miles away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story went on an unscheduled pause because i fucked up and then basically rage-quit for a few days. i am now trying to build up a few chapters but i am going on holiday in 8 days so I don't know how many things will be posted before I go away. Everything will either be here or on my Trey/Kendra&Lyor/Seth fic "Ever After".

Lyor hadn’t even thought about coming to visit alone in the last week but today he didn’t have a reason to stay away. Most days he’d been at the White House, up in the residence with Anila and Judith, but today Penny wanted to go to the zoo so they’d gone and he’d come here. Was this how she’d felt walking up to his room? Wondering every day if that would be the day there was a change? He hoped there was but walking in it was clear that 8 days later there was no change. “Hey, Ken.” He said sliding into the chair beside the bed and putting his hand on her bump before taking hold of hers. He’d just needed to feel the baby moving around, reminding them all that it was still there, still growing. “Your mom took Nil to the zoo with Penny so I decided that I’d come see you while Seth’s at work.” Lyor sighed a little, thinking how little he’d been here and how guilty he felt about that. “I’m sorry I’ve not really been here much, but I just… didn’t want to be back in a hospital again. Not yet.”

Lyor had hated that without Seth he hadn’t felt ready to come here, then last night had been the night that opened his eyes that he couldn’t just rely on Seth. He needed to start being self-sufficient too. “Then last night… God last night Ken. I was in bed and I heard Seth crying and I didn’t know what to do, so I just went through and cuddled him and I realised that… you’re always the one doing the emotional legwork for us.” He had always known that he wasn’t great with his emotions or anyone else’s, but apparently neither was Seth and Kendra had always bridged that gap. He trailed off again, just trying to think about what it was that he wanted to talk about. It was easy to be silent with Kendra even when she was awake, but now the silence felt slightly suffocating when there were so many thoughts in his mind.

“Sometimes, I’ll be honest, I get so jealous of you and Seth.” He blurted out without any warning. He hadn’t even realised he was thinking about that until it was coming out and he was admitting it to her and to himself, really. He was jealous of the two people he loved most. “You get to be together publicly while I’m just the weird little friend who tags along.” That wasn’t how they saw him, he knew that, but it was how the public did. Hell, it was how most of the White House did and that did weigh on him sometimes. “I know you both love me the same but, especially since the abduction, it’s hard to see the support you two have from the public while I’m alone.”

“I wouldn’t change a single thing about our lives together, but at the same time I really don't know how I'm supposed to get through all of this when all I can think about is how much I wish I could show the world that I'm part of this too." It was something he was always going to think about but he also felt better just getting this out. What was it his shrink said once? That acknowledging his feelings would help him work out how to stop them. "And really I have no idea why I'm saying this to you now because you can't help me realise that it has to be this way right now." He shook his head and sat back, his eyes focusing on the movement inside of Kendra’s stomach. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really want you to wake up, and I want you to do that soon. We have a baby to get ready for." He tried to lighten his own mood as much as anything. Focusing on the future.

It managed to carry him onto other topics. How he was feeling, how he was enjoying getting to spend so much time with Anila. He spoke about how he had officially resigned from the President’s staff, and how he just wanted to stay at home for a while. Most of the afternoon he just sat in silence, listening to the machines that were keeping Kendra and her baby alive. He was almost relieved when the door opened and Seth came in carrying Anila. “Hey baby girl! What are you doing here?”

“Judith thought that she should come home with us tonight.” Seth explained, holding the door so that Kendra’s mother could wheel herself in, going round to the other side of the bed and taking hold of Kendra’s hand. As soon as Anila realised where she was she started reaching her arms toward Kendra.

“Mama!” She shouted suddenly and both Seth and Lyor frozen and stared at their daughter. She’d been so struggling with that and Kendra had so desperately wanted for her to say it. Anila was still reaching out for Kendra and so Lyor sat back down with her on his knee, letting her put her hands on Kendra’s arm.

“Yeah, that’s your mama!” He whispered as he held onto her tightly. It had been exactly one day since he’d seen her but he’d missed her so much. His heart firmly belonged to the fourteen-month-old and he seriously doubted that that was going to change. “When did she start saying that. Kendra’s been trying to get her to say it for weeks.” He laughed and felt Seth’s hand on his shoulder.

“When Penny and Leo brought her to visit the other day. I guess she thought it was the right time.” So, timing was genetic. That was interesting to know. Seth would have that kind of timing. Telling someone something almost immediately after they needed to hear it, or days later.

“We’ll give you a few minutes with her, Judy.” Seth said picking Anila up out of Lyor’s lap and motioning toward the door. It was only fair that they gave Judith some time alone with her daughter, especially since Lyor knew Judith was having problems with not being able to be here all the time. As they stepped into the hallway Lyor had to stop and get one more look at Kendra.

“Papa.” Anila mumbled when they stopped moving, squirming on Seth’s hip and making it obvious that she was not actually all that happy about being held by anyone else. It wasn’t unusual for that from toddlers, he knew that, but sometimes it still surprised him exactly how forceful Anila could be.

“Hey Bumblebee, come here then.” Anila almost threw herself back into his arms and her held her close while giving Seth a small smile. Seth was always who Anila wanted if she was sniffly. Lyor was her favourite when she was happy. He looked to the window to Kendra’s room, and even though the blinds were down he could picture her perfectly. “She looks a little better today. Less pale.”

“Hopefully that means it’s all starting to work and she’ll be back with us soon.” Seth tried to put a positive spin on it and Lyor hoped that he was right. They were all suffering now not knowing if she was going to be okay. “I miss her, Ly.” Seth said quietly and it was probably the most redundant statement on the planet, but Lyor also knew that it was something that did need to be said.

“I do too.” He nodded, and he did. There was a dark place that his mind kept going to that he knew it shouldn’t. Thinking about how it could so easily have been Kendra’s funeral too, they could have lost her and the baby and he wasn’t sure either he or Seth would have been able to make it through that. His mind wouldn’t let that thought go. “I think how easily it could have been her funeral the other day, and we’d have to say goodbye to them both…”

“We’re not gonna say goodbye to her, Ly.” Seth said and moved closer, taking hold of both of his arms. Lyor was certain that if they weren’t in public then they would have been found somewhere just holding each other at that moment, but they weren’t, they were here and that was exactly where Lyor felt like they needed to be. They both slid into silence again as they tried to remove that thought. “What were you and the President talking about yesterday at the funeral?” That was a change of conversation, and one that maybe Lyor should have explained before.

“How I’m not coming back to the Administration." It was as simple as that. He needed to focus on things other than work and he knew that that might cause some problems but he had enough money put away to keep up his contributions to their household for a while. "I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I need to get better and I want to stay home with Anila for a while. Judith said she’d help out.”

“I think… that’s great. Whatever you need to do to get better I support you.” Seth hesitated for only a second and Lyor smiled wider knowing that he had the support of the person who meant the world to him. There was no doubt that this was for the best, but somehow he felt that convincing the others would have been the harder part. “Ken will too.”

“I know.” He nodded and smiled as Anila headbutted his cheek. He never thought that he’d love being beaten up by a toddler but truthfully he couldn’t actually imagine anything better right now. “You know I think I've missed having Nil home too. Let's try to balance all this better."

"We can try, Ly. That's the best we can do right now." That was how he felt too, but they needed to try and make life normal again, even if it meant that they didn’t spend as much time here with Kendra. For the moment she wouldn’t know anyway, and she’d be mad at them both if they left Anila with Judith and the President too much. They needed to start bringing her here and taking her home far more often.

Visiting hours seemed to always go too fast. They never made them leave if they didn’t have Anila with them but with her it was more strictly enforced. That was probably a good thing though, otherwise they’d all be sleeping there. All night Lyor was who Anila wanted, right up until he read her to sleep. He stayed and watched her for a few minutes after she was asleep, making sure that she was actually asleep and not sure dozing, as she occasionally did. Only once he was satisfied she was actually asleep did he go back to the living room and collapse on the sofa beside Seth. “Is she asleep?”

“Only after I dressed her teddy in one of Ken’s shirts.” That seemed to be something that they were having to do more and more. Anila clearly missed her mother and was far too young to understand what was happening. Lyor didn’t blame her for wanting to smell Kendra as she was falling asleep. Lyor had found himself doing that too. “She really misses her momma.”

“Don’t we all?” Seth replied after a second and all Lyor could think was that that was exactly how he was feeling. Every day that passed made it feel harder to forget that Kendra wasn’t home with them. She hadn’t just had an early night or was working late. Seth clearly again realised that Lyor’s mind was going down a dark path and started to distract him. “How did it go today?”

“I… talked. Even unconscious Kendra is one of the best people to talk to.” He laughed a little even though he didn’t actually feel like laughing. There was something about the fact that Kendra just seemed so open that he could always talk to her was something that mattered more and more the longer they were together and the less alone he felt. He knew he could talk to Seth too, but Seth wanted to fix everything, and he rarely just listened.

“That’s what I do when I’m there alone too.” Seth admitted and Lyor just smiled softly. Imagining Seth talking to Kendra was actually something that Lyor had never thought about, but he could picture it so clearly right now and it was a really sweet image. “I just speak to her all the time. Makes me feel like she’s okay.”

“She is okay, Seth.” Lyor pushed, he knew that that wasn’t necessarily true, but Kendra was healing and she was going to get through this. Everyone was sure of that. She’d even missed the worst parts with her leg. She would be able to start trying to walk again soon and that would be when they all had to watch out for her overdoing it.

“I know.” He nodded after a few seconds and then started playing with the hem of his shirt. Lyor might not be good at emotions but he knew behaviour and this was something that Seth did when he was nervous, when he was worried about saying something or doing something. “Look this has made me think about something… and I want your thoughts on it because you’re part of this too.” Lyor just watched him and nodded, indicating he was listening. “I wanna propose to her, Ly. I wanna marry her.”

“Finally!” Lyor was actually happy about it, despite what he’d said while he was alone with Kendra earlier the happiness of his partners has always been what he wanted most and he knew that Seth and Kendra were meant for each other. Even if he wasn’t part of this they would have been together, and Lyor had a feeling if he wasn’t part of the picture they would have married long ago.

“Wait, what?” Seth was clearly surprised by his reaction. Lyor wondered if Seth had been more aware of Lyor’s hang-ups than maybe he’d expected. It wasn’t as thought Lyor hid his feelings from Seth, or from Kendra, but he also hadn’t wanted to talk about them openly before and they hadn’t had chance since the three of them hadn’t been truly alone together in months.

“if you didn’t soon I was going to do it for you.” Alright, that was pushing it, but he could see the practical implications and Anila had to come first, for all of them. She deserved to have the security of her parents having legal protections. Lyor suddenly remembered that Julie also existed, so it wasn’t as though he could do anything anyway. “I love you both and you being married won’t change that. But you have biological children and I’m technically married.”

It was almost as though Seth was still looking for permission, or for some reason to come up that should stop him. Lyor wasn’t going to be providing that, because this was something that he thought would be good for them. All three of them. After another few minutes Seth pulled him close and kissed him gently before asking again that he was sure. “So… you really want me to do it?”

“I think you should. Kendra would be so happy.” In fact, part of the best thing about imagining this was definitely imagining Kendra’s reaction. Maybe part of the deal needed to be that Lyor was there to watch because he didn’t want to miss this huge part of their lives. It being alone would feel worse than anything.

“It’s not going to change anything for us, we will love you as much then as we do now.” It was something that Lyor wasn’t even actually worried about. He was never worried about how much they loved him. He was secure in that. The problem was the public perception and he would get over that.

“I know.” Lyor was glad that Seth kept reiterating that it wasn’t going to change anything between them, though. It just made him feel like he was wanted. “It’ll be great. I’ll help you find a ring.” Lyor was thrilled that he could help, and he realised that however much he selfishly wished that they could all be public, he wanted more for Seth and Kendra than he did for himself. A wedding was exactly what they all needed, and Lyor would make sure he was in the middle of it all. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm going to Download Festival next week but I'm still hoping to update from there. I am taking my tablet with me. I will also hopefully be updating "Ever After" so whichever of my fics you're here for you'll hopefully get some quality content.

­Seth enjoyed breakfasts out on the porch most mornings, but this morning it didn't seem exactly as peaceful as it normally was. He wasn't sure what it was that was off this morning, but something was. Maybe it was the fact Anila wasn't here trying to eat the grass, or Kendra wasn't talking about everything she needed to do while saying that the snow needed to hold off another day. He wasn't sure but something was off. He was about to just give up and go inside when he heard a voice from the path. “Who wrote Emily’s eulogy, you?”

“Why the fuck are you at my house?” He snapped as his eyes landed on Tiffany Gimble. He hadn't imagined that he would see her outside of the press room, but she'd been fairly quiet there for a couple of days. Besides, the funeral had been four days ago, why was she sniffing around now, more than half a week later.

“Well, was it?” She kept prodding and it seemed like the most insignificant detail that could be picked over. Who wrote the eulogy for what had been a private funeral. One he knew that Tiffany hadn't been at. In fact, no members of the press had been invited at all, thought that hadn't actually been Seth's choice.

“No, I’ve been a little too busy recently." He really had, too. Speeches weren't his job anymore either. There was a communications director and his entire staff of speechwriters that were there to write things. As far as Seth knew, though, Tom Kirkman had written his own personal tribute to one of his oldest political friends. "The President wrote it himself now please leave my property.”

“I’m on the sidewalk it’s public property” Tiffany indicated that her feet had never crossed the boundary onto Seth's property and so he wasn't going to be able to claim that she was trespassing. He really should just turn and go inside but something was keeping him in place listening to Tiffany as she tried to spin a story. “Oh yeah. Kendra was injured too, wasn’t she? I heard she’s not doing so well?”

“She’s doing fine. Slowly healing up and she’ll be back to work as soon as she can be.” Maybe Seth was exaggerating that a little bit but it wasn't that much. Sure, she still hadn't woken up but he knew that she was going too before too long. She was doing well to say it was less than two weeks since she was in a fatal car crash.

“Pregnant and in a car accident? She won’t be back to work this year Seth, we both know that.” Seth thought that Tiffany was severely underestimating just how stubborn Kendra was, and alongside the fact that they actually did need the money she would want to be at work as soon as she was able too.

He couldn't help but be annoyed by her insinuations, though. This wasn't just work or colleagues for him. This was his family and if Anila had been out here his reactions would have been far angrier. “You don’t know anything Tiffany, and I remind you that is my partner and the mother of my children. I don’t appreciate your gossip-mongering interference.” He snapped and heard the door open behind him.

“Hey, out. You’re not supposed to be here!” Seth heard from behind him and realised that Lyor had immediately gone on the defensive upon seeing Tiffany. Not that Seth blamed him, Tiffany and Simon Day had made life hard for him when he'd first gotten back after the abduction. Countless articles about how it was all staged, Seth didn't want to think about them again.

“Hi Lyor, they let you out of the loony bin then.” The sing-song happiness in Tiffany's voice reminded Seth why he absolutely detested her. Most of the journalists in his press room were good people who genuinely wanted to serve the American people any way they could. Tiffany was not one of those people.

“You’re a heartless bitch, Tiffany.” He snapped as he felt Lyor's sharp intake of breath. Seth was absolutely certain that he had no idea what to say and there was always a panic that he would react to something like this by running back into himself or trying to find any drugs that he could. Seth made a mental note to lock the medicine cabinet before he left.

“I’m just looking for a story. See you later, Seth.” They both watched as Tiffany sauntered down the block. Seth had to bite his tongue not to yell after her that he didn't know what had happened to journalistic ethics or wonder if she'd had her fingers crossed when she'd been making those agreements.

Lyor tugged on his jacket and Seth just sighed and grabbed his coffee and went back inside. He didn't want to have to go into work to face the press again after this but he knew he needed to. “Have I mentioned how much I hate the press?” He mumbled, knowing that Lyor would at least understand.

“Only about fifteen times this week." He joked and Seth smiled, letting himself loosen up a little. Tiffany turning up on their doorstep had just thrown Seth off, and he didn’t actually know how to regain his footing. He was definitely going to have a word with her editor about boundaries, because she had stepped across every single one of them. "You should get to work. I’ll go check on Ken.” Apparently now that Lyor had been alone once he was fine with going, maybe he’d take Anila with him again.

“You know every day I hope it’ll be the day they tell me they’re gonna wake her up.” Seth said quietly, picking Anila up as she toddled toward the still-open door still in her pyjamas. It might be slightly too cold for that, still. It was only the end of February. Almost March. It seemed too much to want her to just wake up. “I want her to be awake.”

“Soon, Seth. We want her to be healed.” Lyor said quietly coming closer and kissing the top of his head before he went to take Anila from Seth so he could grab his scarf. Hopefully tonight they would have time where they didn’t have to worry quite so much and they would all be home.

“I know, I know. Soon though, still.” He muttered, missing his boyfriend and his daughter already but he needed to go to work and trust that they’d be fine when he got home. That was what Seth needed to do and was what Lyor needed to believe they had in him. Seth then kissed Anila’s cheek once and took a chance to kiss Lyor on the lips before heading out. “Bye-bye baby. I’ll see you both tonight.” He then left before he started to talk himself into taking a day off.

The day started off like normal and Seth was actually glad that he didn’t see Tiffany out in the press pool. He even managed to have time to talk to her editor, who agreed that she had overstepped in her search for whatever story she was trying to create before he was called to the oval office for a meeting. “How are things at home?” The President asked almost as soon as Seth walked in.

“They are… you know the same. It was nice having Nil home last night though.” He thought that it was best that he keep things focused on the thing that they had in common, Seth’s daughter, Tom’s almost-granddaughter. “I didn’t realise how much I missed her and it definitely helps Lyor focus.”

“He’s at home with her today?” tom clearly knew that there was always going to be something needed for Lyor to do, and since Seth hadn’t been in the residence with the toddler begging Judith to look after her this morning probably meant that Tom had worked out where the toddler was today.

“Yeah, Judith’s checking on them I think.” They both knew that leaving Lyor entirely unsupervised wasn’t advised yet, but Seth trusted him that he would do absolutely anything to make sure that Anila was fine and happy. She was the one thing that he seemed to be completely connected too. “He might be messed up right now, but I think Anila has given him a reason to stay healthy.”

“Good.” Tom smiled then motioned to the door again as it opened and Seth realised that the person coming through was the new chief of staff. He’d never actually met her before though he’d heard a lot about her, mostly from Emily, so he didn’t really know what to think. “I think it’s time that you officially meet Beth our incoming chief of staff.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Seth. Beth Callahan.” She held her hand out as she walked over with a smile on her face. She was a lot smaller than he’d thought, probably barely five feet tall, though what she lacked in height she seemed to make up in hair volume. On top of her not looking at all how Seth had expected she had a slight accent, something that Seth couldn’t quite put his finger on. “All good, I swear.”

“If you’ll both excuse me a moment,” Tom said and ducked into the study. Seth had a feeling that this was something that was planned. Seth was now the longest-serving member of the senior staff, and the reaction of a lot of the staff of the White House was going to depend on how he reacted. He didn’t really know what to say though.

“I’ve watched your briefings, Seth. You’re good you don’t have to worry.” Beth continued and sat down on one of the sofas. He stared at her another moment then did the same, sitting opposite her. “I know people talk about how I’m going to come in and change everything, but the truth is I’m not. Emily may have done some questionable things, but she had a good setup. I don’t need to tell you how to do your jobs.”

“That’s a relief.” He managed to ask and then decided that it would be easier to just get the questions out of the way. Maybe it wasn’t the most polite thing, especially given that he knew how uncomfortable the ‘where are you from’ questions could get from bitter experience, but he was just too curious. “Can I ask where your accent…”

“I’m Welsh. Born and bred in Machynlleth. My husband came here for residency when he finished medical school and so we settled here, twenty years ago.” That would mean that she’d probably married young, and from the sounds of it they were still together. That seemed like it was close to impossible in modern times, but Seth hoped that it would be a good sign for him and Kendra. Of course now she’d answered he was feeling awkward again. “Don’t worry, it’s a common question. I have dual citizenship and have for almost ten years now.”

“Your children are American?” Why did he even ask that question? He only vaguely remembered Emily mentioning that Beth had had children once, that that was how she’d ended up as Tom Kirkman’s chief of staff back before he was President anyway. How that little piece of information had stuck he didn’t know, but it had and he was grateful.  

“They have dual too, yes, but they were born here. One in New York, one here in DC and one in Alaska.” So not only had she been here for twenty years but she had moved around while she was here. She then smiled and moved the conversation on artfully. “You’ll have to give me tips of being a parent and working here. You have a daughter, right?” Seth was already deep into discussing his and Kendra’s disagreements about names for their second child before he even realised that she’d managed to put him at ease without bringing any attention to the fact she knew he was worried. 

That set up the rest of his day and he felt like he’d had a great time. Even Tiffany’s return that afternoon couldn’t shake him out of his mood, and he even got an apology from her about that morning. So going through to the hospital he didn’t think that anything was going to knock him out of his good mood. “Mr Wright, we have some good news for you.” He heard the moment he stepped through the door to Kendra’s room.

“Is Ken awake?” He asked, picking up Anila as she ran at his legs and smiled a little. It was probably a stupid question as if she was awake there was no chance she wouldn’t have already interrupted him and brought his attention to her. But good news was just what he needed to top off his great day.

“Not yet, but we are going to start reducing her sedatives.” There we go, it was officially the best day that Seth could have imagined. Everything for the last few months had been so difficult but today had been a turning point, and Seth was finally feeling positive. “As you can see, the swelling has gone down almost entirely.” The doctor told him as he held Kendra’s latest scans up.

“So she should wake up soon?” He asked, lifting Anila a little higher on his hip so that she could pretend that she was looking too. Mostly she just pressed her cheek to his and blew a raspberry to let people know that she was paying attention too. Anila was clearly wanting daddy tonight, possibly because she spent all day with Lyor. “She could wake up tonight?”

“Within the next 48 hours, we hope.” There was a nod and Seth noticed his use of ‘we hope’. But after three months with Lyor and now ten days with Kendra, he knew that doctors would avoid declarative statements as long as they possibly could. “We don’t expect there to be any lasting damage but we’ll only know for certain once she’s awake.”

“I need to call her mother, I think she’ll be here until Ken is awake.” Seth could just imagine Judith’s presence here, not that anyone would really mind it, the staff here had gotten used to various members at the senior levels of the administration wandering through the halls at all hours of the day.

“You’re more than welcome to stay, it might even be good to have one or both of you here when she wakes up, it can be a confusing and difficult time after this long unconscious.” The doctor looked like that would have been his advice if he needed to give some, but Seth really wasn’t sure if he could swing leaving Lyor alone overnight with Anila. The temptations could become too much while he was alone.

“I have to get home for the baby, but Judith will be here.” He decided that putting Anila first was the most important thing, and so on the spot, he decided to let Judith be the one here. She would have wanted to be there with Kendra anyway and Seth thought that it was important Judith be the one to know.

Seth watched as the doctor turned to head out and then kissed his daughter’s cheek before turning to Lyor, who looked just as thrilled by this news as Seth was feeling, he stepped closer to Kendra’s bed and smiled just looking down at her. “She’ll be back with us soon, Seth.”

“Hear that Kennie, you’ll be back soon.” He whispered as he leant down to kiss her softly. He couldn’t wait to hear her voice again and to see her open her eyes. He didn’t really care what else happened, but as long as he could speak to her then he knew they’d be okay. They’d come so far together they could work everything else out between the two of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am at Download Festival! Welcome from East Midlands, UK.

Kendra had no idea where she was or what had happened but she knew that she needed to open her eyes and work it out. The brightness of the place she was in and the echoes of footsteps around her seemed to be making her hyperaware that she wasn’t where she thought she was. When she did open her eyes she realised she was in a hall of some sort, Georgian in design, she thought. High ceilings, stained glass windows, tapestries. If it had had an alter and pews it could have been the church she grew up attending in Virginia. The footsteps though, she could still hear them. She took a breath and closed her eyes once more then pushed herself to standing, looking around for the source of the footsteps, when she saw it, she felt her heart jump into her throat. “Alex?”

“Hello, Kendra. It’s been a while.” There was a strange ethereal quality to the voice that Kendra was sure hadn’t been there the last time she’d been with Alex. The guilt that Kendra had felt in those first few weeks suddenly returned full force as she looked at her friend. She had no idea if this was a dream or what but that didn’t seem like it would actually matter in the long run.

“More than two years.” Kendra sighed a little as she realised that. Her mother and the President had been dating over a year by this point, too. She had no idea how she was going to explain that but it seemed like that was the least pressing of all the things they had to talk about. Mostly Kendra wanted to know where she was, and how it was she was talking to a dead woman. “What is this place?”

“I’ve not really figured that out for myself yet.” That was not the answer that Kendra had wanted, but it seemed like it was probably the best she was going to get. At least Alex looked like she was thinking it over. “A gateway, of sorts. I think.” Better, still not detailed enough but at least it gave Kendra an idea. “It depends on your belief system. You’re Catholic, so this is likely purgatory.”

That meant only one thing in Kendra’s mind, and it was something she didn’t want to think about, especially when she could feel her son or daughter still moving inside of her, clearly telling her that there was something living. “So I’m dead?” She had to voice it, even if she didn’t believe it. Framing it as a question at least made her feel like she wasn’t giving in to the seemingly inevitable.

“Not yet. Hopefully not for a long time.” Alex was confident about that and it did make Kendra feel better though she didn’t actually know what to think now. First of all, she needed to piece together her memories. She needed to know what had happened to her and the baby. She screwed her eyes closed as she searched through the memories and tried to grasp at the last things she remembered.

“I was in an accident, Emily…” She’d been with Emily. She knew that much. They’d been talking about the Grand Jury and the indictment. Kendra had been telling her that there was no way that she could get off. Emily hadn’t taken the news well. Kendra didn’t remember what exactly she said, but she knew there had been something.

“Go on.” Alex prompted, pushing Kendra to look deeper into the memories that she was getting. What happened after that? Kendra closed her eyes and tried to picture what was going on. Then she remembered the look in Emily’s eyes, watching her turn the wheel, the sound of crunching metal and then nothing. But she remembered.

“Emily… drove her car into traffic.” It was a simple pronouncement and Kendra wondered what it meant. She remembered that... she knew that had happened. Was that going to change anything or help her understand what Alex said about her being here but not being dead? What was this place? Was it really purgatory or was she just having some weirdly fucked up dream?

“She did. She tried to kill you both. You and your baby.” Alex knew about the baby. What did _that_ mean? Maybe she needed to stop trying to work out meanings and just focus on what was actually happening. What she was actually able to remember. Nothing seemed to be in order yet and it was still so dim.

“Everything is so hazy.” She put a hand to her forehead then catapulted herself back into pacing. Feeling like she was doing something productive, even if it was only walking around in circles while she tried to work out what was going on. She might not look pregnant wherever she was but she definitely still was. She could feel the change in her centre of gravity, and she could still feel the baby moving. “It’s so faint.”

“It’ll firm up as long as you’re here.” Another confident declaration. Alex seemed to realise that Kendra needed to be talking about something else, anything else, really. She didn’t know what she could say that would be interesting though, so she just went silent until Alex spoke again. “Tell me about the White House, what am I missing.”

That was a can of worms that normally Kendra wouldn’t open, but Alex was dead. Whatever was happening, right now, Kendra was talking to a dead woman so what harm was a bit of honesty going to do. “Well, Emily is under investigation by the Attorney General, I have a little girl and I’m dating Seth… and Lyor.” She found that easier to say than she’d expected.

“Both of them? Do they know?” Alex had a bright smile on her face, clearly finding that more joyful than anyone Kendra could have ever imagined. Maybe that was the possibility of gossip that would change the way Alex thought about Kendra that was making her grin in such a way. Kendra herself didn’t actually know and right now she thought it was probably best that way.

“They are dating each other too.” She clarified as it would take a lot more explaining that she really didn’t want to do right now, Alex would probably understand though. She was a liberal woman and she no doubt had heard of set-ups like the one Kendra and the boys had. “I don’t have time to explain but it works.”

“You do you.” Alex just smiled again then her smile turned a little sadder and Kendra knew what was coming. She was going to ask after her family. Truthfully Kendra thought that Alex had been very reserved in this. If the roles were reversed Kendra would have probably asked about her family before anything else. “What about Penny, and Leo?”

“Leo’s doing well, he’s at college. Stanford. He’s good.” Kendra wondered what he would have been doing the last few days. He wasn’t good at dealing when people he cared about were in danger anymore, probably a hold-over from losing his mother, but he had been doing well. Penny was a much easier question to answer, now that she’d stopped causing fights in school. “Penny is her usual self. She misses you, they both do.”

“And Tom, is he happy? Has he met someone else?” That was the question she really hadn’t wanted to answer, but she wasn’t going to lie about it. The President seemed to be happy with her mom and really Kendra was sure that that was all Alex truly wanted for him. To be happy again.

Telling her all that, and everything else that had happened since the accident, was a lot easier than Kendra had imagined. There was so much that had happened in the last two years, though Kendra may have spent a little more time talking about Anila Daynes than maybe she needed to. When they went silent again Kendra focused back on her memories, and after a few more minutes, or hours, Alex broke the silence again. “So, what started all these suspicions about Emily?”

“You did,” Kendra said straight away. Though that wasn’t exactly what it was. It wasn’t that Alex had made her suspicious, but that things around Alex’s case that had. “Not directly, but it was watching you and watching how Emily reacted to how I handled your court case.” That was something that Kendra hadn’t even realised until she’d been asked about it in her questioning. She’d just always known there was something off about Emily. “Then she’d just do little things that were suspicious.”

“Like what?” Alex kept pushing and Kendra knew it was to try and help her get her memories back but it wasn’t really helping. She didn’t think it was helping anyway. She didn’t feel like she remembered anything more it just all of it was falling into place, it was starting to make sense again.

“Authorising a subordinate to break the law and interfering with legal issues. Collusion, potential bribery…” She kept listing things off. None of it was because she was a bad person, and everything was done to try and help Tom, it just hadn’t worked out right and had caused everyone a lot of problems.

It was hard to think clearly, to know that she wasn’t imagining any of the things that were going through her mind but they seemed too far-fetched to be real, yet at the same time, they seemed too unlikely to be false. How was she supposed to know what was real when reality didn’t sound real? The longer she thought about it, though, the more she realised that the simplest explanation was most likely the right one. “She was guilty.” She said suddenly, coming to the decision and she felt Alex wearily look up at her.

“What?” It was another prompt rather than Alex actually seeming to care what it was that Kendra was talking about. Kendra also had no idea how long they’d been here, but it seemed like it was probably a lot longer than it actually felt. She’d spent most of the time trying to just working things through in her mind.

“Emily. She was guilty. That’s why she tried to kill us.” There, she’d said it herself. Emily had tried to kill her. Kill her baby too. Maybe that hadn’t been the intention but it’s what could have happened, what still might happen. Kendra didn’t actually know and she still wasn’t sure what any of this was.

“So, she was guilty… What was she guilty of?” Kendra swore she’d already said this. Maybe it was repetition, something that would help her remember more whenever she left whatever this place was. When she woke up or… whatever. She didn’t actually know but she could feel herself getting stronger, everything was clear now. She knew what she needed to do and she even had an idea of how to do it.

“So many things. Bribery, intimidation, witness tampering, evidence tampering…” Listing them off was something that helped her realise that she was right to follow her gut, she was right to admit that reality didn’t make sense, but that didn’t stop it from being reality.  “She was neck deep in bullshit and I need to make sure people know this wasn’t an accident.”

“How will you do that?” This time Alex was smirking and wasn’t trying to convince her that she needed to look at the other side of the conversation. That wasn’t exactly what Kendra had been expecting, especially not when the last time the two women had been in a room together Alex had fought every suggestion that Kendra had had.

“I need to talk to the President.” That was it. She would probably also have to talk to Hannah, and to Aaron, but primarily she needed to tell the President, especially if Emily had managed to survive the crash. Alex hadn’t seemed to be able to tell her that. “You’re much more agreeable here than you were last time we were together.”

“Come on Kendra, we both know… I’m not really here.” She said, and then almost instantly she vanished, just leaving Kendra looking around the space they’d been occupying for however long this conversation and realisation had taken. Now it was empty, and it felt cold. It seemed like it was time for her to leave this place, but that didn’t make Kendra feel right about leaving Alex behind.

“Alex!” She shouted once, but there was no response, no return, and Kendra knew that she was gone again. Maybe the conversation with the dead wife of her boss was probably not something she should mention when she was asked about this, though if it was a drug-induced hallucination at least she wouldn’t be classed as crazy.

Seth’s aftershave was the first thing Kendra was truly aware of. How she loved that smell. It meant that she was safe and that he was there with her. Suddenly everything that she’d spoken about with Alex came back to her mind and she had to fight a little more to be aware of more than just Seth’s aftershave. She slowly was aware of more smells, her mother was there too, and then came sounds. Seth’s quiet, insistent voice right next to her. “Hey, Kendra. Wake up, Kendra.”

“Hmmm.” She tried to speak but there wasn’t a word that came out, and she still hadn’t even managed to open her eyes. Was it possible she was still just too tired to open her eyes? She squeezed the two hands that held hers, one slim and calloused, her mothers. The other rounder and softer, and undeniably Seth’s. She hoped Lyor was nearby, she wanted to see him too.

“Hey baby, I was so scared.” She squinted a little, it was too bright for her to do anything and she tried to say the one thing that she’d been thinking about, what she’d come to realise while talking with Alex in her… what? Coma? She’d work that out later right now this was going to have to take precedence so she tried to say it, not that she thought it came out, she closed her eyes again but she felt Seth move a little closer. “Pardon, babe?”

She pulled all her strength together at that moment and licked her lips before managing to get the words out in a hoarse whisper. She wasn’t going to open her eyes to see the reactions, she needed to marshal her strength and hope that by the time they let her see him she’d be able to be sat up. “I need to speak to the President.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the unofficial confirmation today that DS is done I thought that I'd finish off this chapter.

The phone call telling Tom that Kendra was awake was not actually something that he had really expected. They had all told him that she would wake up but Tom just hadn’t been able to believe them. Now he was told that she wanted to see him. Why she wanted to see him he didn’t know and he wanted to know, so he’d rushed to the hospital and was happy to see that both Seth and Judith were already there. “How is she?” He asked the second he saw Seth standing outside her room.

“Traumatised. Tired. Confused. But she passed the mental status exam with flying colours.” Seth smiled at that and for the first time in months, the Press Secretary looked like maybe, just maybe, he would be able to make it through all of this. Tom couldn’t really blame him for the stress, between Lyor, Kendra and baby Anila he needed a break. “She wouldn’t say why she needed to talk to you, sir.”

“I’m here now, Seth. We’ll know soon enough. Is her mother in with her?” He knew Judith had been here since the doctors had said they were going to try and bring her around, and Tom couldn’t imagine that she would leave all that easily now that they knew Kendra was awake.

“She’s still really weak and they want her to sleep again soon.” Seth explained, seeming to just be repeating whatever his mind was settling on at the moment. Tom didn’t know when the man had last had a good night’s sleep. As Tom watched him, he just covered his face and shook his head. “She has an infection in the wound on her leg too and they don’t know if they’ll be able to save it after all.” The anguish in his face when he dropped his hand brok Tom’s heart. They didn’t deserve to be going through all this.

“She’ll get through it, Seth. You both will.” Tom tried to sound reassuring then wrapped his arms around Seth, giving him a chance to unload before they both went into Kendra’s room. He continued making soothing sounds and rubbing his back, trying to just give Seth the support he desperately needed. After a few minutes he pulled back and wiped his eyes then nodded, back in control. “Let’s find out what all this is about, shall we?”

Seth quietly led the way into the hospital room and Tom smiled seeing Kendra sat up slightly, speaking to her mother with a soft smile on her face. Both her hands on the bump while she looked exhausted. It was a relief to him to see her sat up at all, let alone looking so good. “Kendra, it’s nice to see you awake.” He grinned, going to stand beside Judith and putting his hand on her shoulder.

There was a moment where they all just looked at Kendra who reached out for Seth’s hand. It was clear that she felt like she needed that extra bit of support. Tom wasn’t going to push her to talk until she was ready, but he wanted to know what it was going on in her mind. Once she’d gotten herself in the right position to think she opened her eyes again and looked to him then said the last thing that he expected. “Emily did it on purpose, sir.”

“Wait… what?” Seth was the one who replied first, squeezing her hand and looking at her. Kendra’s eyes slid from Tom to meet her partner’s which gave Tom a moment to watch them both and absorb what she was saying, what she was accusing Emily of. Given that Hannah had been telling him that they were struggling to find anything wrong with the car he knew that they couldn’t do this without her.

“Can we put this conversation on pause. We need to get Mike and Hannah in here.” Tom said, stopping them both from saying anything else. Though he wanted to hear what it was that Kendra was thinking about he knew that they needed to do this differently. They needed to do it properly and that meant having Hannah and Mike here. At least Kendra would be comfortable with them.

“I need to sleep.” She mumbled while stifling a yawn with the hand she was still using to cling on to Seth. He stepped a little closer and Tom enjoyed getting to see the two of them interacting with each other outside of work. Even when they were up in the residence there was sometimes a boundary that he knew they didn’t want to cross.

“Sleep baby, I’ll be right here when you wake up again.” Seth whispered dropping his head against hers and speaking almost silently. Tom couldn’t imagine that it was that much of a comfortable position but he was sure that Seth didn’t care either. He would just be too happy about.

“I want to see Nil.” Kendra replied just as quietly and Tom felt a little uncomfortable now for intruding into their lives, he shifted his eyes away and looked to Judith instead. He hoped that she would realise how awkward he was, because while he was the President there were some things that just weren’t possible to walk away from easily.

“We’ll leave you both for a minute.” Judith said a second later turning her wheelchair so that she could move away from Kendra’s bed. “Tom, come on I need a push.” As always Judith gave him a reason to get away and when they were out in the corridor he just dropped against the wall. “Call Hannah. I want them here when she wakes up again.”

“I do too, and I don’t think you and Seth should be there when they come back.” Tom didn’t know how his partner would take that idea, but he was sure that it was better that they weren’t there. Tom would be there with her and would make sure that she was alright. “I know she wants you there but this is a very serious accusation that she’s making.” Judith didn’t look happy, but after a moment she dropped her chin to her chest then nodded.

“Yeah… I’ll take Seth out. We’ll go pick up Nil together.” And bring Lyor. That was not something that she needed to add, but while they were in a semi-public area they weren’t going to talk about that if there was a chance they could be overheard. Judith was clearly still a little worried and frowned taking his hand as he sat down on the metal chairs on the side of the corridor. “Tom you’ll take care of her won’t you?” She asked and he nodded. There was nothing else he could think to say.

It was a few hours before Kendra woke up again, but Hannah and Mike were both patiently waiting with them all. They let her get her bearings again and set herself up. She even ate something, which after almost two weeks unconscious was going to be uncomfortable for her too. Once Judith had convinced Seth to go out and collect Anila with her Tom sat in the vacated seat and nodded to Kendra. “Alright Kendra, tell Hannah and Mike what you were telling me.”

Kendra paused again collecting her thoughts. Nobody was going to push her given what she was going through and it couldn’t be easy reliving this so soon after waking up. “Emily… she crashed the car on purpose.” It came out slightly more haltingly this time, but she still sounded clear and, most importantly, certain. She knew what she was saying.

“What was happening?” Mike asked, sitting down on the other side of the bed. Tom knew that they were quite close and had been since Alex died but he didn’t realise that Mike was as protective of her as it was clear that he was here. Tom was thankful that they had so many good people around each other.

“We were talking about the AG’s investigation, how she was going to be found guilty and that she was likely going to have to serve time in prison.” Kendra was sounding more like she was in control. This was her giving evidence, he saw the lawyer mask slipping over her eyes and was amazed that she could do that even when talking about her own life, something that she had experienced. He wasn’t sure that he could be quite so detached.

“And what happened then?” Hannah stood behind Mike making notes as Kendra answered questions and obviously was marking down her own thoughts too. It was interesting to be able to watch this and not be the one answering the questions. Seeing that Kendra was maybe not as detached as he had initially thought he quietly took her hand and squeezed it.

“She said that she was sorry and turned the wheel. I didn’t even have time to move.” She now sounded more like she was worried and Tom didn’t fail to notice that her other hand settled on the baby bump again. He hoped that she wasn’t reliving it. That was the worst part about talking about any trauma. “She said she wasn’t cut out for prison.”

“We’ll be right back, Ken. We’ll let Seth and your mom come back in.” Mike said, clearly deciding that she should be left alone and that they had what the needed for right now. Tom had expected it to take much longer than this. He squeezed her hand as he stood up, and the moment the door opened Seth was almost running back in, carrying the toddler. Lyor and Judith following a moment later.

Tom couldn’t help but look back in the door and see how happy Kendra was to see her daughter, and given the happy squeals from Anila the toddler was happy to see her mother again too. When he shut the door he knew that there were questions that still needed to be answered. “Does it line up with what you’re finding?”

“It explains the footage we have from other drivers that doesn’t show Emily worried, it also explains why we weren’t finding anything wrong with the car or the conditions.” Hannah nodded and Tom was glad to know that it had solved a mystery that he knew had been starting to frustrate the investigators. It still left a wide open question.

“So where do we go now?” He asked, wanting to know where the next steps were because he didn’t want to have to put Kendra through this too many times if there was no need for her to keep reliving it. She deserved to be able to move on with her life.

“There is nowhere to go. Emily is dead and Kendra seems to be sure of what happened.” Mike said and looked to Hannah before he spoke again. “We’ll write up reports, formally interview Kendra when she’s up and about, but it looks like this is case closed.” Tom was glad about that though he also wasn’t really sure how he felt about knowing that Emily had killed herself and tried to take Kendra and her baby along with her.

It was too much to process easily so he just said his goodbyes, leaving Kendra with her family and her mother and heading back to work. He had a lot that he needed to do but he wasn’t really interested in anything. He was thankful when he was finally able to go back up to the residence and was thrilled on seeing Judith sat on the sofa. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s asleep again, Lyor is staying the night with her.” That was good to hear and Tom was sure that Lyor was enjoying getting to spend some time there too. The man had his own issues but he had really tried to pull himself together for Seth since this had happened. Judith took his hand and then sighed sadly. “I need to step away again, I know I do but she’s my daughter.”

“She’s a mom herself.” Tom reminded her. Kendra was not just Judith’s child, she had a family all of her own and that needed to be the thing they remembered, but Tom wasn’t sure that he’d be able to separate that if it was one day Penny or Leo. “I’d be the same if it was Penny or Leo though. You can still go and visit but you probably need to let Seth and Lyor take over now.”

“I know. At least she’s awake, and she’s probably going to be fine.” Judith still sounded like she didn’t truly believe that Kendra was actually going to make it through all of this and Tom knew how she felt as that was where he’d been that morning. Now he’d seen her he was absolutely certain that she would get through everything.

“She will be, and so will the baby and everything else they are going through.” Tom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. Given everything they’d been through in the last few years maybe it wasn’t all that surprising that she was struggling. “Come on Judy you can’t worry forever about her, she’s an adult with her own family too. We all have so much to do and Kendra needs to focus on her recovery now.”

“I know you’re right, but it’s hard to convince myself of that.” Tom smiled and kissed her cheek and neck a little, just wanting to take her mind off of all of this. There were many things he knew worked on Judith and this was one that he was sure would help but he hadn’t been able to propose often recently.

“Then let me convince you.” He smiled and picked her up to take her through to bed, thankful that she was as light as she looked. Tom hadn’t thought about today turning out the way it had, and he still needed to process what it was that Kendra had told him about Emily’s final acts, but he wasn’t going to think about them right now. He was going to just focus on Judith and the good things in life right now.


End file.
